peach blossom paradise
by paper star
Summary: ~*a teahouse? Ayame as a mama-san?!! no wonder...an insane Ayame-centric fic*~


All standard disclaimers apply.

Word of advice: Please leave any semblance of sanity at the doorstep. Thank you.

* ~peach blossom paradise~ *

"Tencho…We haven't seen any customers for a week now. I'm bored."

"Un. I guess Mine, we'll have to close the store for the day," said Ayame reluctantly.

* * * * * * * *

Ayame headed over to Shigure's house to see if there was anything happening that would provide him some much-needed entertainment. But of course in Shigure's house, with two hormonally charged boys and one clueless girl, there was bound to be something going on.

Usually, Ayame would be at the store, bustling around preparing costumes and accessories for his customers. However, it was the season of love.

And that was the cause of all of Ayame's problems. How could he make any business? All the patrons of his 'otoko no romansu' store had already found someone to be romantic with!

Ayame nearly missed Shigure's house. He just kept thinking of ideas to boost sales in his store. But all his ideas seemed too…too boring. Ayame needed to do something **BIG**.

* * * * * * * *

"Gure-san, my dear Gure-san, how are you?" Ayame asked in a high-pitched falsetto voice.

"Aya~, my love. What brings you to my humble abode? Surely you miss me, right?" Shigure answered in a feminine, cringe-inducing voice.

"How can I not miss my deares-" Ayame was unable to finish his sentence.

"Why in the world in _he_ here Shigure? Did _you_ invite _him_?" Both Yuki and Kyou asked.

It was obvious that neither wanted Ayame to be around.

Ayame turned around to face them.

"Ah! Yuki-kun, Kyonkichi. You miss me? Well of course you would! I am after all the Great Ayame!"

Ayame was about to continue flattering himself, thereby irritating Yuki and Kyou even further, when he noticed the small party behind them. Haru, Momiji, Kisa, Hiro, Kagura and Tohru stood, carrying plastic shopping bags.

"Uwaa~! The both of you didn't have to prepare a celebration in my honour. I didn't know that my younger brother and Kyonkichi had that much affection for me. I'm so~ touched!"

"Aaaarghh!!! Stop calling me Kyonkichi!" Kyou made a move to strangle Ayame. It was fortunate that Tohru decided to greet Ayame then.

"Konnichiwa Ayame-san. I didn't know you were coming today. Will you be staying for dinner? Would you like me to prepare anything special for you? We've just gone shopping."

"Tohru-kun is so~ kind. I will be staying here of course. Just so that I can enjoy Tohru-kun's delightful company."

Tohru beamed at Ayame.

"I'll go in and make some tea for Ayame-san right now."

Ayame was thus assured of a place for dinner at Shigure's house.

* * * * * * * *

Ayame watched with some interest the actions of the younger members of the Jyuunishi and Tohru. They were certainly amusing him.

Yuki was staring longing at Tohru as she was reading a storybook to Kisa, Hiro and Momiji. In Ayame' opinion, if Yuki kept staring any longer at Tohru, his eyeballs might have as well been glued to her. Literally. 

Momiji and Kisa crowded around Tohru, trying to get a better look at the illustrations in the book. Hiro was making sarcastic comments that made Tohru fumble and stammer. Haru who was sitting nearby made strange cryptic comments and asked questions totally unrelated to the story Tohru was reading.

Kagura caught Kyou in a headlock. He had refused to sign her autograph book with 'Love Kyou'. So Kagura was currently beating the stuffing out of a helpless Kyou.

Indeed, the younger Jyuunishi members were a lively bunch. Like surreal characters of a manga. Ayame started putting little profiles for the members of the little group before him.

* * * * * * * *

Tohru-kun has a sweet and gentle disposition. She's always ready to help and her innocence is an endearing quality.

His younger brother Yuki is cool, mysterious. Women (and men!) fall at his feet, making him a true prince. Prince Yuki.

Kyonichi, while seemingly full of pent-up anger, one finds that it is all bluster. Underneath the violent persona is a gruff and shy interior.

Two different personalities, one cute guy. Hatsuharu or Black Haru, pick your flavour. It's like buy one, get one free.

Full of energy with a zest for life, Momiji-kun is just the thing for the tired and jaded mind. Never mind if one cannot tell if Momiji is male or female.

Kisa is a little princess, requiring much love and care. Quiet and utterly adorable. She definitely brings out the 'soft' side of a person.

With his sharp wit and acerbic humour, this little lamb proves that he is ready to take on the world. Witty Hiro is definitely a challenge for all.

And lastly,

Kagura, the rough and tumble girl. She can be nice or she can beat one into submission. When together with Kyou, her dual personality makes for an interesting threesome.

* * * * * * * *

Ayame completed the imaginary profile list.

It seemed to him that the younger members of the Jyuunishi and Tohru had a little something that appealed to everyone. In fact, they appealed to the masses.

Ayame blinked. Once. Twice. And then suddenly, the rusty cogs in his 'hebi' brain started to turn.

'…appeal to the masses. Hmm…'he thought.

A little idea developed in Ayame's mind.

Ayame suddenly whispered, "_Teahouse_." 

~revelation~

An inkling of a thought stirred within Ayame, and with a shout he proclaimed,

"Peach Blossom Paradise!"

His sudden outburst startled the people around him. But Ayame was so overcome by his _amazing idea_ that he failed to notice anything. Ayame got up and ran to find Shigure. The younger members of the Jyuunishi and Tohru, curious as to what had caused Ayame to suddenly shout, went after him.

* * * * * * * *

Ayame found Shigure in his room dangling his latest manuscript out of Mit-chan's reach.

"Gure-san, Gure-san, kiiteyo! Listen, listen! My brilliant idea from my very own thinking!"

A thought flashed through the minds of both Kyou and Yuki.

"He thinks? Wait…He has a BRAIN?!!"

"What is it my dear Aya~? What idea do you have? Do tell, do tell. Mit-chan, can't you see we're having an emergency family meeting."

Amidst the loud wails coming from Mit-chan, Ayame told Shigure of his _incredible idea_.

"Ne, Gure-san. For some time now, my shop has not been doing very well. So…I believe with the help of Tohru-kun and the young Jyuunishi-gumi, I could open up a teahouse. Imagine, Gure! Tohru, Kisa and Kagura dressed in pretty and cute maid outfits, an-"

"No fair, Ayame! I wanna wear a cute maid outfit too!" Momiji interrupted.

"Yes, of course, you will wear a cute outfit Momi-chan! Everyone, even Yuki, Kyou, Haru and Hiro will wear outfits, that I, the amazing Ayame will make. In Peach Blossom Paradise, customers can have tea while being entertained by our young and good-looking hosts and hostesses. The customers' tensions will slip away as we cater to their every whim and desire. Because, at the Peach Blossom Paradise~all your dreams come true…"

Ayame gave a self-satisfied smile. The idea of Peach Blossom Paradise, in his opinion, was wonderful. He had even been able to think of a catchy tagline at the spur of the moment. He, the Great Ayame, was a genius!

"Eh? Why is everyone so quiet? Ah…I'm sure you are all impressed by my _amazing idea_ right?"

Shigure was trying to stifle a giggle. The thought of Yuki and Kyou in pink, frilly maid outfits was hilarious.

"Aya~(giggle) It's a wonderful (giggle) idea. You should start (giggle) as soon as possible!" Shigure answered Ayame.

"Aha! I thought so. Yuki, Kyou, Tohru, minna, what do you think of it? Will you help me with the Peach Blossom Paradise?"

Yuki and Kyou, both of whom had been totally stunned by Ayame's _brilliant idea_, were about to shout definite "No's!".

But Tohru was, fortunately or unfortunately, depending on which way you looked at it, able to give an answer faster.

"Of course we would be happy to assist Ayame-san! I'm sure it will definitely be fun to help!"

* * * * * * * *

And that sealed the fate of the younger Jyuunishi members and Tohru.

Because it is a well-known fact that often wherever Tohru went, they would inevitably follow.

Thus, begins the tale of Peach Blossom Paradise…

* * * * * * * *

Glossary:

tencho: think along the lines of 'boss'

otoko no romansu: guys romance *cough cough*

hebi: snake

kiiteyo!: listen!

Next chapter

*interior~outfits~interesting jobs*

*notes~Hehe…i didn't really want to do this fic because it is totally insane. i've been playing around with this idea for some time now. didn't think i'd have the guts to post this up. venturing into the unknown depths of humour. or at least attempting to do so.

anyway, enjoy! 

Reviews, constructive criticism and even flames are welcome. i assume this fic will definitely be a target for flamers. *bows politely*

~* paper star *~ 


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